In This One I Swear. A lot.

the clearest sign that the patriarchy is severely damaging to men is how fucking stunted of a human being do you have to be to uphold a system as damaging to others as the patriarchy? it’s brainwashed so many men to the point they seriously walk around like, ‘there is no patriarchy in ba sing se.’

this isn’t a ‘woe is men, the victim’ post. it’s a holy fuck men, stop being selfish in a way that is harmful to absolutely everyone, and start being selfish in a manner that heals the shit they’ve done to you post. as a human being, you deserve happiness. you deserve to feel whole. and feel good about yourself. as an individual human being you have the same intrinsic value as every other human being that has ever lived. and you deserve to experience that as a fact.

unfortunately, society is twisted. largely due to the patriarchal structure that has tainted pretty much every aspect. so to be the person you have every right to be, with the types of relationships you deserve to have... you have to acknowledge that fact. you have to confront it within you. patriarchy does actually have things so twisted, that to be who you naturally are and to be at peace with yourself and the world around you, takes a fuckton of inner work. it shouldn’t take any. you should have grown and just naturally been who you naturally are. but let’s be honest, that didn’t fucking happen. and im very sorry because that is a sick thing that society does to people. so you can say to yourself, well i have an excuse, and you could certainly list very valid reasons, very terrible things you experienced that you should not have had to go through. in a sick society there are an endless supply of valid excuses. but unfortunately at some point all excuses become choices.

if you think, whatever, there is no patriarchy, that means the patriarchy broke you and you need help. you are damaged to the point you can’t even see what is hurting you and you are absolutely doing damage to the people around you. im not attacking you for being this way, the opposite, i want you to learn to see your own intrinsic value. i wasn’t put on this earth to judge anyone, but ill be damned if i just sit here and watch so many men burn themselves out because the people in charge are literally fucking monsters and ingrain in men some god awful idea of who they are supposed to be and what life is supposed to be. because the best you can possibly be by following them, is to become like them, and seriously, they’re fucking monsters.

but here’s the thing, the thing the people in charge really want to keep from you. what it means to be a man. and what it means to be a man is no one can decide what being a man means for you, that is 100% in your hands. as a unique individual, with equal value to every other unique individual, if you are a man, then what you are is what a man is. because you have equal worth, how you define you, and how you define being a man, is equally valid. if it comes from within, and is your choice. so make it your choice. because it is for you to decide. instead of striving to be an idea someone else gave you, just be you. you deserve to be you. you deserve to love and cherish who that is. to be healed. to be fulfilled. to know what it is to be a good man. and seriously, the best gift you can ever give yourself is to know without a doubt you are a good man. so be selfish, and do the work it takes to get there. man the fuck up and smash the goddamn patriarchy.