The Over Think

     One of the biggest hurdles I have for breaking bad habits and instilling good ones has always been my own brain. I know my own weaknesses and can talk myself out of anything. I know all the excuses that work best that allow me to continue not making positive changes. Those thought processes themselves have become habitual. So the older I got and the more I try to change, the stronger my mind got at reactively shutting it down.       All the failed experiences didn't help. They reinforced the negative thoughts. Try to quit smoking and fail, maybe I just can't. Try to change my diet over and over only to always fall back to the easy unhealthy meals, the usual routine, what's the point of trying?      The big realization, the game changer for me, was when I understood that maybe radical change wasn't for me. Completely changing my diet overnight was maybe an unrealistic expectation, considering my own brain actively worked against it, ...

the clearest sign that the patriarchy is severely damaging to men is how fucking stunted of a human being do you have to be to uphold a system as damaging to others as the patriarchy? it’s brainwashed so many men to the point they seriously walk around like, ‘there is no patriarchy in ba sing se.’ this isn’t a ‘woe is men, the victim’ post. it’s a holy fuck men, stop being selfish in a way that is harmful to absolutely everyone, and start being selfish in a manner that heals the shit they’ve done to you post. as a human being, you deserve happiness. you deserve to feel whole. and feel good about yourself. as an individual human being you have the same intrinsic value as every other human being that has ever lived. and you deserve to experience that as a fact. unfortunately, society is twisted. largely due to the patriarchal structure that has tainted pretty much every aspect. so to be the person you have every right to be, with the types of relationships you deserve to have......

             I should probably start this off by saying I'm not the biggest fan of the Bible. I've read it cover to cover multiple times, and some parts, like the sermon on the mount, countless times. When I was young, it was pretty much the only source if you were interested in things spiritual. And everyone around me agreed, it was the only reliable source. It was all I knew, so I made sure to know it quite well.     I'm not about to get into why now I don't really care much for it, there's a laundry list of issues, from poor translations to even poorer interpretations. There are people who get a lot out of it and live very fulfilling and compassionate lives thanks to it, so I don't think it's a terrible book or not worth reading. It's just not for me. And while I understand the people who use it as a weapon against other people, the major issues are with them and not the Bible, it's still difficult to completely separate what the Bibl...

     If someone believes talking to plants helps them grow, whether or not it actually works, it harms no one. And the person who believes it helps, it makes them happy in that moment. It helps them grow. It's therapeutic. Living in a world where chatting with their philodendron helps it thrive helps them thrive.      It's not delusional to want to live in such a world. And if it helps someone heal, then it's a beautiful thing. No one who talks to their plants insists on laws and jail time to force other people to converse with flora. It's simply how they choose to live, and helps them find balance in an often unbalanced world.     How many beliefs have we once held tightly to, only to now barely remember, or have forgotten completely? Things that in the moment seemed extremely important, that are now just faint memories. Some were beneficial, and helped get us through, led us to better ways to be. Others we only know of now from the shape of the ...

     The only thing that is more painful than loving everything, is not.     The heart was made to love. To give. However many layers of ego and hurt and lies and desires you layer over that, it doesn't change the fact it exists to love. The sun continues to shine behind the clouds, even if you put an entire planet between you and the sun, it is still there, still shining.     And what does that have to do with turning lead into gold? In the spiritual sense, the concept of transformation, is just about letting go. It is a mental process of understanding, your heart is always shining, it is always the sun, you can close your eyes to it, but you can't stop it. The lies we tell ourselves, the illusion that we can be less than what we inherently are, are the impurities. They don't prevent us from being gold, they convince us that we are lead in spite of the fact there is only gold.     Your heart is generating compassion for all things. It is con...

           There is so much in this world I do not understand. So much that I have to accept I will never understand. There is only so much time to learn and experience, just in regards to what mankind has to teach, that I cannot possibly take it all in. And then there is the infinite amount of things no human has yet discovered or experienced that will forever be a mystery.     And so it is critically important to make peace with that. I can accept it so that it is not a stumbling block to growth, or not and live in some kind of delusional fantasy. The fantasy is very appealing, what an amazing ego boost it must be to dismiss experts because I know better. To believe all news I disagree with is just propaganda. To always 'know' I am in the right. I can see why so much of social media is filled with people who embrace the fantasy.     I am sadly, however, attempting to make peace with my lack. Embrace it even, as a fundamental part of th...